You know you might be a children’s writer if…
There you are, sitting on the hard white wooden bench in your small town arena lobby. You’re reading quietly, passing the time during your son’s hockey practice, while two young boys you don’t know toss a small ball back and forth across the lobby. Back and forth, back and forth, they chase the ball, toss it, chase it, and so on until–
The arena doors open with a clatter and a woman walks in. One of the boys calls out to her with an enthusiastic, “Hi, Bitch!” (Which sounds a bit like “hiya beetch!”)
Silence.
A silence in which you cringe for the boy.
“What did you say?” the woman, finding her voice, demands. She repeats her demand several times in increasingly higher volumes.
The boy wisely stays silent.
Finally the woman orders him to SIT THERE on THAT BENCH and DON’T MOVE.
He perches timidly beside you, head bent, sitting on his hands. You just want to hug him.
Do you empathize with the mother having to hear that from her child? Not really. You feel for the boy. You bet he’s seen someone greet a friend that way on some TV show, or heard it uttered by an older kid, and the reaction was much different from the one he got.
Yes, if this happens you just might be a children’s writer. And there might be a story there….somewhere.
© Lizann Flatt, www.lizannflatt.com
No part of this blog may be used without written permission from the author.
No part of this blog may be used without written permission from the author.
Aw, Nuts!
How many of you who write for young kids find yourselves the recipient of requests to change your text because of sexual innuendos in your writing? Oh, come on. You know it’s happened!
I’m here standing up (har) to say I am not afraid to admit that it’s happened to me a few times. (I mean, I wrote a book titled “Let’s Go!”?? Come ON! You can just picture the nudge-nudge, wink-winks.)
I just agreed to change a line in a forthcoming picture book from:
Can you count each squirrel’s nuts?
to
How many nuts has each squirrel gathered?
Not a big change in intent, but probably a little less titter inducing. But grade two humor will rule no matter what. Just say the word ‘nuts’ and they’ll probably be rolling in the back row. But I don’t mind that reaction from an audience. It gets the kids/class involved, no? Books are fun. Books are funny!
You can call me naive for not picking up on these types of innuendoes on a more regular basis. But I also know that just about anything can be an innuendo if you want it to be. I always remember a lecture from one of my university professors that pointed out that the English language will always refer to the sexual in the absence of a concrete noun. Even you will titter if I write:
I want it.
I like it.
You need it.
no matter that I’m referring to chocolate. (Damn, what were you thinking???)
But I will consider softening an obvious innuendo if my editors asks. I’m not completely nuts.
So that’s my rant for the day–a day which kicks off the last long weekend of summer. Have a good one! (nudge-nudge, wink-wink)
© Lizann Flatt, www.lizannflatt.com
No part of this blog may be used without written permission from the author.
No part of this blog may be used without written permission from the author.
Directions or Descriptions?
Ah, Muskoka. Where I live. And where directions to someone’s place are more like descriptions. They include phrases such as:
- I do not know her address
- She lives on This Road off of That Road
- It is on the left hand side a little ways past the dam
- There is a red sign but it’s spelled wrong
- You go down that road past the house on the right to the next house on the right
and then a phone number “in case you get confused.”
Which I did.
So I had a nice detour down a remote rut and crater infested road I’d never driven before. The shoulders were either non-existent or so soft and squishy I feared executing a 3-pointer would mire the Odyssey in mud. I followed the road all the way to the end before turning around. But I got to my destination.
Descriptions. They lead to places you’ve never been before. Isn’t that what writing is all about?
© Lizann Flatt, www.lizannflatt.com
No part of this blog may be used without written permission from the author.
No part of this blog may be used without written permission from the author.
Did I Imagine That?
I had a great phone call from an editorial director a couple weeks ago. I think.
Okay, I’m kidding. I know it happened, but I feel as if I’m in a bit of limbo.
Like a timeout in a hockey game.
Like the Jeopardy thinking music is going on.
Because I’m waiting for further direction on the manuscript/proposal that generated that phone call and a verbal assurance of a contract to come. Yay! Good thing I’ve about a bazillion things to keep myself occupied while I am patiently awaiting further instructions and paper proof I’m not living an illusion.
But there is a little part of me that wonders if it was all just wishful thinking.
Anyone else do this to themselves?
© Lizann Flatt, www.lizannflatt.com
No part of this blog may be used without written permission from the author.
No part of this blog may be used without written permission from the author.